"This Did Not Take God By Surprise!"

This morning, I awoke to the sound of Linda's labored breathing. I also woke with the hope of the resurrection encouraging my heart - thank You, Father! Oh, I am terribly sad, first about Linda's difficulty, then about our loss. It is so painful to see her struggling so with no way to absorb any of her pain. I do my best to comfort, but how much is meaningful, I am not sure. The first thing I said to her this morning was to remind her of the first thing she said when she got the news 13 months ago that she had a brain tumor: "This did not take God by surprise!" I also reminded her that God loves her very much - how can He, Who did not spare His own Son, not care when we belong to Him? (Romans 8:32-32) It is a love that is beyond measure that is not separated by ANYTHING! (The rest of Romans 8)

I have been thinking a good bit - let me say that I often get in trouble "thinking out loud" - and I would like to speculate in this space about some of my thoughts about prayer. Once again, going back to Romans 8, verses 26-28 in particular, we learn that the Holy Spirit assists us in our prayers. How? By translating our prayers according to God's will. So, if we pray with hearts that desire God and His will, we may pray as we like (praying biblically is assumed) - the Holy Spirit will make certain God's will is accomplished in response to our prayers. OF COURSE that does not mean everything we ask for is granted. Can you look back on your life and say, "I really wish God had answered every prayer of mine in the exact way I asked it to be answered?" I doubt you would say that!

So, is there sense that can be made of the thousands of prayers that have been offered on Linda's behalf every day (you cannot believe how many parents of young children tell me that without being reminded, their little ones pray for Linda every day!) through this past year? So very many of those prayers have begun as prayers for healing. Perhaps, by the time they got to the Father (according to Romans 8:26-28) they provoked a response that was somewhat like, "It is not my will to heal Linda, but I will make her passing easier. I will give her and her family a year blessed with life, laughter, the best friends imaginable, and so much more." Please do not think I am putting words in God's mouth (who would presume to do so?), I am just speculating - but, speculating on the basis of Scripture. That is the place, though, where many people get in trouble, so be careful what you take from this. At any rate, THANK YOU for every prayer - not a single one has been wasted!

If it appears as though I am chipper this morning, it is not so. I stopped in the middle of this writing to put some moisture in Linda's mouth - her teeth are almost always clenched so that you can only put moisture in front of her teeth. Every moment that I stand beside her, there is pain. But, as I said at the beginning, the hope of the resurrection has brightened my eyes. I would imagine your prayers since my last post, about 12 hours ago, have something to do wtih that. At this moment, death is mocking Linda, drawing her near through a rapidly deteriorating body. It will be Linda, though (according to 1 Corinthians 15:51-57), that gets the last laugh as the sting of death is removed and (as John Piper would say) death is made, unwittingly, to serve Linda as it ushers her into the presence of Jesus! Hallelujah!

So, this odd mixture of intense pain and unspeakable joy find residence together this morning in the Talley household. With no offense intended to even one of my dear friends, I am always perplexed or amused when you commend me for my response to all this. I have NOTHING in me that is commendable, but Jesus (why, is beyond me) loves me and lives inside me and directs my response to life. I have failed miserably in response to pain of all sorts, but I have been given grace beyond measure for this greatest of sorrows, and I thank Him for responding to your prayers as He has. I sense that the pain, though, has only begun for me. I am losing so much in my dear, precious wife. The incredible truth and comfort found in Romans 8 will be as true for me as it is for Linda, and it will be as true when the Lord brings her to Himself as it is has been during this incredible year that He has allowed us to spend together. I covet your prayers in the coming days - I know that you will pray for all of her family (a large one, indeed - children, grandchildren, parents, siblings, in-laws, church, school, camp - nowhere to stop!). We thank you in advance. God bless you.