It's Just Sad

No one is angry. No one is bitter. We are just sad. It is sad to watch Linda slip physically. These bodies are subject to decay, but hers is slipping ahead of schedule. Well, ahead of our schedule, but on time according to God. Not that the Lord loves death - indeed, Jesus hated death and was in the practice of breaking up funerals. But our sovereign Lord numbered our days before the world ever began. I don't get it, but I absolutely believe it.

Linda has not been awake much at all today. We have decided not to move her any more (out of bed) unless there is a dramatic change in her condition. The moves are so very traumatic for her, and she is hardly awake enough to sit up, anyway. The Hospice nurses tell us that while she is not in the final day or two (though, clearly the end could come by then), she is, nonetheless, declining rapidly. And - it is sad.

But, the sadness serves a purpose, even in our lives. Romans 8 talks about the futility of the creation and how creation longs for redemption. Then, verse 23 says, "And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies." Our inevitable groaning creates a thirst, a longing for the day when our bodies are no longer subject to pain and decay. We eagerly anticipate - eternity! We do so, that is, when the groaning is intense. Let's face it - until we encounter suffering, most of us in America, and other countries as well, feel as though we are living in heaven, so why worry about the unknown heaven that requires a painful transition (death) to enjoy? We have it made, here! Then, the pain. Then, the groaning. Then, the longing.

So, our sadness, while intense and real, serves to point our eyes upward. We selfishly want Linda to hang on with us as long as she can, but as you would imagine, we do not want her to suffer. So far, there does not seem to be significant suffering, but there is sadness aplenty. Thank you for sharing in our sorrow - it eases the load a bit.