Humility, Grace, and Other Difficult Lessons

“The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:28. Is that why it is so difficult for us to be served? Is it because Linda and I are so like Jesus that we feel compelled to serve others and not allow them to serve us? Or is it pride?

As one of the under-shepherds of our church (Grace Community Church is elder rule, so I am one of several pastors), I am inclined to seek and meet the needs of others. Linda has always been the consummate servant (odd choice of words, perhaps, but accurate). But, if we are always serving, someone is being served – right?

Jesus’ words in Matthew 20 were written just after He had instructed the disciples about servant leadership. We are not to lead as world rulers do, but rather, we are to serve even those that we lead. So, it is entirely appropriate to look for opportunities to serve rather than to be served.

But, as is so often the case, we have perverted God’s principles for kingdom life. Indeed, if someone is serving, someone must be served. When Jesus shared the principle of servant leadership, it was a radical concept. We have made it an art. You don’t think so? Then, why would you rather serve than to be served?

In a sense, when we serve in our society, we show our magnanimity. “I am helping you, don’t you see? ME? I don’t need any help, thank you!” We never think that when we are helping others, but we are revealed (as I am so painfully aware these days) when we are on the receiving end. So, pride may very well be in play when we hesitate to allow others to help us. Oh, we would like to claim it is a biblical work ethic ((Ephesians 4:28; 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12; 2 Corinthians 12:14), but most likely, receiving the service of others requires a humility that most of us are unwilling to embrace.

And the cards, meals, e-mails, clothes, books, CDs and so much more. We will NEVER even be able to thank you properly for you expressions of love! Linda will not be aware that I am writing these words until after they are posted (or she would probably stop me from saying this), but her servant’s heart comes through time and again when she receives cards, e-mails, or gifts. We are usually two or three days behind on the cards because so often when she opens one she will say something like, “Oh, we need to pray for this person – he needs a job,” or, “Their son is not walking with the Lord, and that is so difficult for them,” or, “Oh, she lost her sister to cancer three years ago.” She loves you so much!

But, we can never thank you properly. Far more than that, we can never reciprocate! And that’s important, isn’t it? In our society, yes. But, our need to repay someone for giving to us may betray a “works” mentality. God’s grace is absolutely undeserved and unearned – there is absolutely nothing we can do to earn it! We respond to God’s grace in gratitude by willingly serving Him (Ephesians 2:8-10 for this whole paragraph), but we do not serve Him to re-pay Him – our bank accounts will never be large enough!

It has always been interesting to me how God accommodates our weakness while calling us to a higher standard of living. For instance, we are commanded to never seek praise for ourselves, but we are absolutely commanded to encourage and build others up in Christ. Just look at the way Paul bragged on those who served well (Romans 16 – the whole chapter; Philippians 2:19-30; Colossians 4:12-13). Also, as we have already noted, we are called to serve others, not ourselves, but if we are the ones doing the serving, someone has to be served – and so we need to learn how to be served in humility and love.

Even as I am writing these words, a home-health nurse is serving Linda and I hear her say, “I know, honey, I would rather be helping than receiving.” That, of course, prompts me to leave the computer and discuss this subject with all in the room. Colette, our nurse, shares what she heard a pastor say recently: “God did not call us human doings, He called us human beings!” In other words, we are called to “be” more than to “do.” A difficult lesson, is it not?

So, in humility and with grace (as God enables us, of course), we receive your gifts and service of love. If you never hear personally from us, please know that your acts of kindness have not gone unnoticed here, and certainly not in heaven. We have never felt so loved, though we did not know it was so difficult to feel so loved! Truly, your expressions of love and kindness have radiated (more than reflected) the love of Christ to us. As I encouraged you in the last posting, please learn with us. You have been so generous in giving, with not one expectation of reciprocation! When it is your turn to be served, please do not fight God’s goodness to you, extended through others – receive in humility and grace.

-Brad