Thursday, April 17, 2008
Lost
That's how I feel. As difficult as "lonely" is, lost is - well, you know. I feel like a ten year old boy on a strange city street who looks around and his parents aren't there. You move down the street getting from one block to another. Time moves on and you meet some wonderful people, but you are still lost. That's the feeling. Oh, I know that God is there, but my true real-life companion of 31 and a half years is not. I recognize that God draws us to Himself through our pain, but if the pain is gone in a minute, do we really get as close as we could/should? I know it will be OK, but for the moment I feel lost. And it is not OK. But, it is OK that it is not OK at the moment. Not everything has to be fixed immediately.
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3 comments:
Brad, your post is so brutally honest that...well I do not know how to describe it. I can almost sense your pain while reading it. It is times like these that we want to say, "I know how you must feel" while knowing that I really don't. Thank you for sharing this so we know how to continue to pray for you. Praying!
3For the enemy has pursued my soul;
he has crushed my life to the ground;
he has made me sit in darkness like those long dead.
4Therefore my spirit faints within me;
my heart within me is appalled.
5 I remember the days of old;
I meditate on all that you have done;
I ponder the work of your hands.
6 I stretch out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
7 Answer me quickly, O LORD!
My spirit fails!
Hide not your face from me,
lest I be like those who go down to the pit.
8 Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love,
for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
Psalm 143:3-8
Lost, maybe for a season, but during this season feeling His presence and love so close that the thin barrier between our world and the spiritual world becomes transparent.
As the pain can be unbearable, intimacy with Him brings soul peace and true trust that never fades and changes our love and our lives for Him forever.
Just a few thoughts from a new future Christmas grandma. With love, L Smoker
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