Another Word

I suspected that my earlier post would create concern, and maybe even confusion. First, let me say that I am not paralyzed by the "lostness" to which I alluded yesterday. I would hope the post written on Tuesday would attest to that. Second, I do not go around moping all day. The pain of the first three weeks or so was quite intense. I have said before that I went to a place that I did not know existed. I do not go back there, now, but when pangs of loneliness and lostness come, I remember the intensity of the pain of those first three weeks (as opposed to these last three weeks, since I am only six weeks in), and the feeling of being lost descends upon me, and sometimes covers me.

I had two extended, very lively theological discussions with close friends yesterday. I worked on my sermon and met with church staff and church family. I went to a play last night performed by Campbell students, some of whom attend Grace - it was GREAT! It was directed by Bert Wallace, the chairman of our elders. I am busy and, at times, quite happy.

But, I wasn't exaggerating the feeling of "lostness." And I wanted to make a point: some pain is designed to last for an extended time. A lack of joy or a lack of deliverance does not imply a lack of faith. God calls us to trust Him in the dark just as much as we are to trust Him in the light. One danger of denying pain is the likelihood that one will seek God at a lower level. In the OT, God repeatedly rebuked His people for refusing to turn to Him when they encountered trouble. So, one of pain's many benefits is to cause us to seek the Lord. If my pain goes away too quickly - especially in this day of noise, conveniences, and distractions - I am less likely to look in the One source of comfort and meaning. So, it is OK to be "lost" for awhile. I still know where true north is - it is not that I have lost my compass, only my map. As my good friend Ben Dean said, "This is too costly to miss what God has for me." Ben, you will recall, lost his dear wife, Nancy (Linda's age), in January after only a one month battle with cancer.

So, thank you for your prayers and the Scripture. If you find yourself in a dark place that has been dark for awhile, please know that God is not cruel. He has a plan for your life that will be revealed in due time, even if it is not until you get to heaven. Above all, trust in God.