We are rounding the corner, heading for the home stretch. It is Monday morning in Sydney and we are about to depart for the Blue Mountains where we will be spending a few days with Alison’s friends, Hugh and Barbie. At the top of the mountain, in Leura, it will be close to freezing, at least toward sundown. Believe it or not, I am looking forward to that! (Update – it is now evening and we had a great time in the hills – almost thought it was going to snow!)
Yesterday was a blessed day. We worshiped with the church family at St. Philip’s Anglican Church in Sydney (well, Turramurra, but it’s all Sydney to me). Life was flowing through this body. It reminded me so much of Grace Community Church. The singing was wonderful and the Word was both piercing and encouraging in the way that only God’s Spirit-filled Word can be.
St. Philip’s seems to be an oasis in a desert – spiritually speaking, that is. As previously mentioned on this page, there is little attention paid to the gospel in Australia. It is increasingly the case in the U.S., but it is critical here in OZ. This morning on Good Morning Australia (equivalent to “Today” in America), one of the guests was the founder of a web site that encourages married men and women to cheat on their spouses. It was noted that this site receives more hits in Australia than any other country. Furthermore, in every other country, far more men visit the site than women. In Australia, just as many women “sign up” for an illicit relationship as do men. Australia, like America, is sinking.
But, God always has His people, does He not? We were so encouraged by the growth at St. Philip’s! The body there is talking about expansion – please pray that this light on a hill in a very dark place will find the resources to expand their facilities and yield to the Holy Spirit as He grows the gospel in Sydney.
Want another really encouraging word? It was announced in church that the Alpha Course – a Bible Study program that originated in England – is being conducted in Baghdad. It is the largest such study in the world – 2,700 people! Alpha would not be my first choice of Bible study programs, but God has greatly used it and I give Him great praise for this wonderful news!
I must say that I spend a lot of time explaining my political preferences in Australia. It is interesting to me that the same people who cheer the news about the church in Iraq have little more than contempt for George Bush. By no means did I agree with everything President Bush did, but I strongly believe that he is a brother in Christ and a man of honorable character. Did he contribute to this economic mess we are in? Absolutely! But, not an ounce more than I contributed to the mess, and, almost certainly, no more than you contributed to it. Greed is what has us where we are; greed in almost every one of us. I seek to be generous, but there is a self-centered “get it, and get it now” streak in me that will not die easily.
When it comes to politics, voting always comes down to a “lesser of two evils” for me. I DO NOT think that all politicians are evil. But, even though all governments are ordained by God (don’t even begin to ask me to explain that), they are imperfect – many times, evil. God is nothing but good, but He uses all governments and people and circumstances for His sovereign will and purposes. My responsibility is to vote responsibly, since I live in a democracy. I can’t say that I would never vote for someone who is pro-abortion (remember – lesser of two evils), but there would have to be a very strong, compelling reason for me to vote that way. That is the first item on the list, when I consider which candidate to support.
I had better get off the old soap box. It’s time for bed and then my penultimate (full) day in OZ. Remember, we are 14 hours ahead of you blokes on the East Coast. Early Thursday morning, I will click my heels (don’t you dare call me Dorothy) and say, “There’s no place like home!”
Monday, July 25, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Great - no, check that - Incredible Food!
Last year in Australia, we pretty much ate 5 times a day. Breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, and dinner. Then, there was the occasional late-night snack. Ridiculous! Well, this year I determined it would be different. Alison enjoys certain Aussie foods and treats, so I did not expect her to follow my lead, but I - - Okay, I started well, but lately I have fallen off the wagon.
Fish and chips are exceptionally good here, but I really love the grilled Barramundi, a delicious white fish that is almost always accompanied by a dreamy - I mean, creamy white sauce. It is the sweets that consistently get you, though. It is almost disgusting to see these skinny people eating chocolate caramel slice after lemon tart after meat pie after Tim Tams after - you get the idea. How do they do it!?!
Tonight, Alison and I had the most delightful evening with her (and, now my) good friends, John and Ann McGeachie who love in beautiful Terrigal on the Central Coast. In fact, the Pacific Ocean lies about 300 yards from where I am writing this post. The conversation tonight was fun, uplifting, and extremely gospel centered. Over and over, John and Ann preached the gospel without necessarily meaning to. It is just who they are! They acknowledged the fallen state of humanity, the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus, and the hope we have of heaven. Over and over again.
The conversation began over the tastiest (and, quite healthy) meal that either of us have had in a long, long time - and, if you have prepared food for us in the last year, please know that your meal was delicious. This was - I don't even know how to communicate how good this meal was! Roast pork, steamed and/or grilled broccoli, cabbage, zucchini, sweet potatoes and white potatoes, rice and gravy. Oh, my goodness - I do not watch enough Food Network to adequately describe the explosion of flavors that brought waves of delight to our respective palates! As good as the conversation was, I could hardly concentrate because I kept wondering what I would save for the last bite. Then, there was dessert - a large pear slice, baked in pure maple syrup mixed with vanilla and topped with real cream and vanilla ice cream.
I wonder how good the meals are in heaven? My dad enjoyed eating at least as much as I do, so I wonder what he is eating today? Isn't it good to be redeemed by the blood of Jesus, knowing that heaven awaits? Isn't it good to know that in addition to dwelling with Jesus, all cancer, dementia, and depression will be gone and all broken relationships (with believers) will be made right? Occasionally we are allowed just a glimpse of heaven. I got a little taste tonight - pun intended!
Fish and chips are exceptionally good here, but I really love the grilled Barramundi, a delicious white fish that is almost always accompanied by a dreamy - I mean, creamy white sauce. It is the sweets that consistently get you, though. It is almost disgusting to see these skinny people eating chocolate caramel slice after lemon tart after meat pie after Tim Tams after - you get the idea. How do they do it!?!
Tonight, Alison and I had the most delightful evening with her (and, now my) good friends, John and Ann McGeachie who love in beautiful Terrigal on the Central Coast. In fact, the Pacific Ocean lies about 300 yards from where I am writing this post. The conversation tonight was fun, uplifting, and extremely gospel centered. Over and over, John and Ann preached the gospel without necessarily meaning to. It is just who they are! They acknowledged the fallen state of humanity, the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus, and the hope we have of heaven. Over and over again.
The conversation began over the tastiest (and, quite healthy) meal that either of us have had in a long, long time - and, if you have prepared food for us in the last year, please know that your meal was delicious. This was - I don't even know how to communicate how good this meal was! Roast pork, steamed and/or grilled broccoli, cabbage, zucchini, sweet potatoes and white potatoes, rice and gravy. Oh, my goodness - I do not watch enough Food Network to adequately describe the explosion of flavors that brought waves of delight to our respective palates! As good as the conversation was, I could hardly concentrate because I kept wondering what I would save for the last bite. Then, there was dessert - a large pear slice, baked in pure maple syrup mixed with vanilla and topped with real cream and vanilla ice cream.
I wonder how good the meals are in heaven? My dad enjoyed eating at least as much as I do, so I wonder what he is eating today? Isn't it good to be redeemed by the blood of Jesus, knowing that heaven awaits? Isn't it good to know that in addition to dwelling with Jesus, all cancer, dementia, and depression will be gone and all broken relationships (with believers) will be made right? Occasionally we are allowed just a glimpse of heaven. I got a little taste tonight - pun intended!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Hillsong!
Since I have such limited Internet access, I am publishing two posts at once. The one just before this one is actually a guest column. It is MUST reading. What a beautiful testament to the grace of God (a grace spoken of in a different context in this post - both true)! Now, on to this post.
Last year when we visited Australia, Alison and I fully intended to spend one of our Sundays at Hillsong Church in Sydney. Alas, we failed to get to the world-renowned church. We use a lot of their music at Grace Community Church, so it was a disappointment not to make it to Hillsong. My disappointment was nothing, though, compared to the amount of criticism (abuse? :)) that I took for not attending. This year, we made it!
On Sunday morning, Alison and I met her good friend, Sharon, who drove us to church. Sharon is a member at Hillsong. To say that the music was loud was quite the understatement. Well, at least Alison and Sharon told me it was loud. I didn’t notice – volume just doesn’t bother me. I never got over the 60’s, so I still listen to loud music, especially when I am alone in the car – though you won’t hear the bass thumping from my speakers!
During the first song, youth were jumping up and down during the song. It looked like a mosh pit. When I looked later in the service, there were quite a few adults in the first few rows. Do you think . . . ? On the platform, behind the musicians, there was a choir, of sorts – or, perhaps I should say, of singers and jumpers (praising God – don’t think I am making fun – well, not too much fun). These jumpers were being led by a chief jumper, whose face I never saw. She did have a very long ponytail, though.
The message, delivered by founder and lead pastor, Brian Houston, was about grace. So many good thoughts, but this one stands out: “We are told that God’s grace is sufficient for all of our troubles. We tend to think that it is barely enough grace to get by. The same Greek word (for “sufficient”) is used when we are told that ‘sufficient for the day is its own trouble.’ We certainly do not think that our troubles are barely enough to register – we think they are overwhelming! Well, so is grace!”
After Hillsong we went to downtown Sydney where we spent the night in a hotel with a beautiful view of the Opera House and the Harbor Bridge. On Monday morning we caught a ferry to Manly Beach where we had lunch with Max and Rose Boys. Max was Alison’s pastor for eight years at St. Philip’s Anglican Church in Sydney. What an encouraging refreshing time! The body of Christ is a marvelous blessing!
As I write this post, I am also listening to a debate about religion on Australian TV that includes a Muslim, an atheist, a journalist who has written about religion – and, John Lennox, an outstanding debater for Christianity. Lennox is a professor of math at Oxford University. He will be debating well known atheist, Peter Singer, next week in Australia. This fair land is in trouble, with regard to the gospel. (Notice, it is not the gospel that is in trouble – it is flourishing in Africa and Asia) America is, of course, very much in trouble as well.
In the last post, I wrote about Mike Raiter, who is principal of Melbourne School of Theology. In January, Mike will be embarking on a passion of his and developing a school/center to promote the practice of expository preaching – passionate expository preaching, that is. May the gospel regain a foothold in Australia! If it does, it will be according to God’s will – so, PRAY! Does that seem strange to you – pray because God is sovereign? After all these years, it makes perfect sense to me! God is the only one who can change the hearts of men and women, and He calls us to pray that He will. He also uses the (expository) preaching of the cross to draw men to Himself.
Thanks for checking in!
Last year when we visited Australia, Alison and I fully intended to spend one of our Sundays at Hillsong Church in Sydney. Alas, we failed to get to the world-renowned church. We use a lot of their music at Grace Community Church, so it was a disappointment not to make it to Hillsong. My disappointment was nothing, though, compared to the amount of criticism (abuse? :)) that I took for not attending. This year, we made it!
On Sunday morning, Alison and I met her good friend, Sharon, who drove us to church. Sharon is a member at Hillsong. To say that the music was loud was quite the understatement. Well, at least Alison and Sharon told me it was loud. I didn’t notice – volume just doesn’t bother me. I never got over the 60’s, so I still listen to loud music, especially when I am alone in the car – though you won’t hear the bass thumping from my speakers!
During the first song, youth were jumping up and down during the song. It looked like a mosh pit. When I looked later in the service, there were quite a few adults in the first few rows. Do you think . . . ? On the platform, behind the musicians, there was a choir, of sorts – or, perhaps I should say, of singers and jumpers (praising God – don’t think I am making fun – well, not too much fun). These jumpers were being led by a chief jumper, whose face I never saw. She did have a very long ponytail, though.
The message, delivered by founder and lead pastor, Brian Houston, was about grace. So many good thoughts, but this one stands out: “We are told that God’s grace is sufficient for all of our troubles. We tend to think that it is barely enough grace to get by. The same Greek word (for “sufficient”) is used when we are told that ‘sufficient for the day is its own trouble.’ We certainly do not think that our troubles are barely enough to register – we think they are overwhelming! Well, so is grace!”
After Hillsong we went to downtown Sydney where we spent the night in a hotel with a beautiful view of the Opera House and the Harbor Bridge. On Monday morning we caught a ferry to Manly Beach where we had lunch with Max and Rose Boys. Max was Alison’s pastor for eight years at St. Philip’s Anglican Church in Sydney. What an encouraging refreshing time! The body of Christ is a marvelous blessing!
As I write this post, I am also listening to a debate about religion on Australian TV that includes a Muslim, an atheist, a journalist who has written about religion – and, John Lennox, an outstanding debater for Christianity. Lennox is a professor of math at Oxford University. He will be debating well known atheist, Peter Singer, next week in Australia. This fair land is in trouble, with regard to the gospel. (Notice, it is not the gospel that is in trouble – it is flourishing in Africa and Asia) America is, of course, very much in trouble as well.
In the last post, I wrote about Mike Raiter, who is principal of Melbourne School of Theology. In January, Mike will be embarking on a passion of his and developing a school/center to promote the practice of expository preaching – passionate expository preaching, that is. May the gospel regain a foothold in Australia! If it does, it will be according to God’s will – so, PRAY! Does that seem strange to you – pray because God is sovereign? After all these years, it makes perfect sense to me! God is the only one who can change the hearts of men and women, and He calls us to pray that He will. He also uses the (expository) preaching of the cross to draw men to Himself.
Thanks for checking in!
Guest column - this is must reading!
This past week, my good friend, David Carson, passed from death to life - into the presence of Jesus. It was an extremely difficult year for David's family as his health declined because of a brain tumor. Last week, just a day or two before he died, David's daughter, Lydia Wells, wrote the following words on her blog. I have not asked for permission, but I am 100% certain Lydia would not mind you sharing her grief - and, trust - through her words. Read, and weep, but be blessed:
Today has been a hard day for me. I've lived for over a year now with the knowledge that my Dad is dying. All along, I have prayed for either healing or a quick, painless death. Neither has happened. My Dad is suffering, his body is rotting, his mind is not clear, he is unable to do anything for himself. He has lost nearly everything that made him David Carson. It is hard to watch.
For the past week, I have been really dwelling on what he must be thinking and feeling, if he is able to think much. I don't know since he doesn't communicate with us anymore. Is he focusing on heaven? Is it dark where he is at? Is he groaning in his mind? I hear his sighs and quiet moans and I know he is hurting, though he has never once complained. Is he talking to God or is silent in his mind? Is he only capable of feeling the weariness and pain that I know he is feeling? Does he ever allow the thought to cross his mind that maybe God has forsaken him? OR is he content to suffer, knowing the glory that is coming?
I have had many conversations with God over the past two days. For some reason, my Dad's voice enters these conversations. Because I know my Dad's heart so well, I am easily able to imagine his interjections into these conversations, where I am, at this time, unable to hear God's reply. The great I AM is very silent right now. But my Dad, well, I can hear him pretty clearly. I know some of you may think that I am only giving my Dad's voice to God's replies...maybe.
When I rant and say things like, "It's not fair! My Dad is a good man and has served you well." my Dad's voice reminds me that no man is good enough to enter the presence of God and that no one deserves mercy. My Dad reminds me that we all deserve eternal separation from God, that we all deserve suffering and death. It is because of Jesus Christ and his death, and my Dad's acknowledgement of and acceptance of that, that my Dad will (eventually) enter heaven and spend eternity gazing on the face of his Savior.
When I *remind* God (as if HE needs reminding) of all the sacrifices my Dad has made for Him, of all the ways that my Dad has served and followed and loved Jesus Christ, my Dad's voice reminds me that he did not do those "works" to get to heaven or to make death easier. He lived the way he lived because he loves Jesus and wanted to honor Him with his life. Dad has always desired that others see Jesus in him, he has never cared that they see David Carson. One of my Dad's favorite verses is 1 Corinthians 2:2- "For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." Dad did not need lofty speech or worldy wisdom to show others Jesus. I believe others so clearly see Jesus in the life of my Dad because he resolved to live the gospel for all to see.
As I watch my Dad's body fall apart, as I reflect on his life, I feel closer to him than I have ever felt, even though we are no longer able to communicate. Even though God remains silent to my entreaties and questions, I am still comforted by the knowledge that what I believe is REAL and it is TRUE. Even as I shed tears, I am at peace, because I know He holds the future and my Dad's future is with Him.
God sent His son,
They called Him Jesus.
He came to love, heal and forgive.
He lived and died, to buy my pardon.
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
Because I know, I know, He holds the future.
And life is worth the living just because He lives.
How sweet to hold a new born baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives.
But greater still, the calm assurance
This child can face uncertain days because Christ lives.
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
Because I know, I know, He hold the future.
And life is worth the living just because He lives.
And then one day, I'll cross the river.
I'll fight life's final war with pain.
And then as death gives way to victory.
I'll see the light of glory and I'll know that He lives.
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
Because I know, I know,He hold the future.
And life is worth the living just because He lives
Today has been a hard day for me. I've lived for over a year now with the knowledge that my Dad is dying. All along, I have prayed for either healing or a quick, painless death. Neither has happened. My Dad is suffering, his body is rotting, his mind is not clear, he is unable to do anything for himself. He has lost nearly everything that made him David Carson. It is hard to watch.
For the past week, I have been really dwelling on what he must be thinking and feeling, if he is able to think much. I don't know since he doesn't communicate with us anymore. Is he focusing on heaven? Is it dark where he is at? Is he groaning in his mind? I hear his sighs and quiet moans and I know he is hurting, though he has never once complained. Is he talking to God or is silent in his mind? Is he only capable of feeling the weariness and pain that I know he is feeling? Does he ever allow the thought to cross his mind that maybe God has forsaken him? OR is he content to suffer, knowing the glory that is coming?
I have had many conversations with God over the past two days. For some reason, my Dad's voice enters these conversations. Because I know my Dad's heart so well, I am easily able to imagine his interjections into these conversations, where I am, at this time, unable to hear God's reply. The great I AM is very silent right now. But my Dad, well, I can hear him pretty clearly. I know some of you may think that I am only giving my Dad's voice to God's replies...maybe.
When I rant and say things like, "It's not fair! My Dad is a good man and has served you well." my Dad's voice reminds me that no man is good enough to enter the presence of God and that no one deserves mercy. My Dad reminds me that we all deserve eternal separation from God, that we all deserve suffering and death. It is because of Jesus Christ and his death, and my Dad's acknowledgement of and acceptance of that, that my Dad will (eventually) enter heaven and spend eternity gazing on the face of his Savior.
When I *remind* God (as if HE needs reminding) of all the sacrifices my Dad has made for Him, of all the ways that my Dad has served and followed and loved Jesus Christ, my Dad's voice reminds me that he did not do those "works" to get to heaven or to make death easier. He lived the way he lived because he loves Jesus and wanted to honor Him with his life. Dad has always desired that others see Jesus in him, he has never cared that they see David Carson. One of my Dad's favorite verses is 1 Corinthians 2:2- "For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." Dad did not need lofty speech or worldy wisdom to show others Jesus. I believe others so clearly see Jesus in the life of my Dad because he resolved to live the gospel for all to see.
As I watch my Dad's body fall apart, as I reflect on his life, I feel closer to him than I have ever felt, even though we are no longer able to communicate. Even though God remains silent to my entreaties and questions, I am still comforted by the knowledge that what I believe is REAL and it is TRUE. Even as I shed tears, I am at peace, because I know He holds the future and my Dad's future is with Him.
God sent His son,
They called Him Jesus.
He came to love, heal and forgive.
He lived and died, to buy my pardon.
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
Because I know, I know, He holds the future.
And life is worth the living just because He lives.
How sweet to hold a new born baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives.
But greater still, the calm assurance
This child can face uncertain days because Christ lives.
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
Because I know, I know, He hold the future.
And life is worth the living just because He lives.
And then one day, I'll cross the river.
I'll fight life's final war with pain.
And then as death gives way to victory.
I'll see the light of glory and I'll know that He lives.
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
Because I know, I know,He hold the future.
And life is worth the living just because He lives
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Melbourne!
I love the smell of this city! Perhaps I should say I love the way that this city smells. Melbourne is known as a city of restaurants and coffee shops. From the first moments in this great city, Alison and I were inundated with sights, aromas, and tastes that thrilled our senses! Coffee shops along the alleyways and restaurants that always seem to be cooking their best fare beckoned to us all day long.
Melbourne is a beautiful mixture of old and modern. The architecture and angles of buildings and museums and shops and art galleries invite one to participate in the city’s charm. Charming? Is it possible to consider a city of three million plus, charming? Indeed, one is tempted to employ the word “quaint!” As one resident said, “Melbournians enjoy their city.” It is, without question, a more leisurely pace in Melbourne than Sydney, or almost any other world class city of its size that I have visited. One particularly impressive spot was the reading room in the State Library. I will try to post a picture on Facebook, soon.
Visiting with friends and family were the highlight of the trip to Melbourne. We stayed with Alison’s long-time friends, Mike and Sarah Raiter. Mike is the principal (Americans would use the term “president”) of the Melbourne School of Theology and Sarah is an artist who thinks deeply about life. Fortunately, for us, Mike was on holiday. In addition to showing us the lay of the land, we enjoyed many long talks about life and ministry, one night going strong after 1 AM. The Raiters’ two adult sons, Joel and Nathan, delighted us with their company much of the three days we were in Victoria. I cannot tell you how impressed I was with this wonderful family!
One day was spent with other (new, for me) friends and (some new, some not so new to me) family. We had lunch (maybe the best lasagna I have ever had!) with Alison’s friend for many years, “Musha,” (Aussies love nicknames!), whose husband, Thomas, welcomed us into their home along with their two delightful children, Sonya and Henry. Betty (Alison’s aunt) and partner Ian, and Cousin Jane had us for dinner where we enjoyed Christmas in July, complete with decorations and mince pie! In all, I think there were three distinct, delicious desserts after a sumptuous meal of corned beef and potatoes and all the fixings.
We are back in Sydney, now, and preparing for a dinner party with 30 friends. I am sitting in McDonald’s, one of the few places that offers free wi-fi. I am not kidding, I have only seen one lap top (besides mine) open in Australia in a week’s time – and, I have been looking! The coffee shops are full, but no computers. Even in Mackers (as they call McDonald’s), no one is surfing the web. I would conclude that Aussies get their Internet fix on their phones – but, there seems to be precious little of that. Could it be that they are simply more interested in connecting with people than they are in surfing the web, at least while out in public? Good form!
Thanks for checking in. I will be back!
Melbourne is a beautiful mixture of old and modern. The architecture and angles of buildings and museums and shops and art galleries invite one to participate in the city’s charm. Charming? Is it possible to consider a city of three million plus, charming? Indeed, one is tempted to employ the word “quaint!” As one resident said, “Melbournians enjoy their city.” It is, without question, a more leisurely pace in Melbourne than Sydney, or almost any other world class city of its size that I have visited. One particularly impressive spot was the reading room in the State Library. I will try to post a picture on Facebook, soon.
Visiting with friends and family were the highlight of the trip to Melbourne. We stayed with Alison’s long-time friends, Mike and Sarah Raiter. Mike is the principal (Americans would use the term “president”) of the Melbourne School of Theology and Sarah is an artist who thinks deeply about life. Fortunately, for us, Mike was on holiday. In addition to showing us the lay of the land, we enjoyed many long talks about life and ministry, one night going strong after 1 AM. The Raiters’ two adult sons, Joel and Nathan, delighted us with their company much of the three days we were in Victoria. I cannot tell you how impressed I was with this wonderful family!
One day was spent with other (new, for me) friends and (some new, some not so new to me) family. We had lunch (maybe the best lasagna I have ever had!) with Alison’s friend for many years, “Musha,” (Aussies love nicknames!), whose husband, Thomas, welcomed us into their home along with their two delightful children, Sonya and Henry. Betty (Alison’s aunt) and partner Ian, and Cousin Jane had us for dinner where we enjoyed Christmas in July, complete with decorations and mince pie! In all, I think there were three distinct, delicious desserts after a sumptuous meal of corned beef and potatoes and all the fixings.
We are back in Sydney, now, and preparing for a dinner party with 30 friends. I am sitting in McDonald’s, one of the few places that offers free wi-fi. I am not kidding, I have only seen one lap top (besides mine) open in Australia in a week’s time – and, I have been looking! The coffee shops are full, but no computers. Even in Mackers (as they call McDonald’s), no one is surfing the web. I would conclude that Aussies get their Internet fix on their phones – but, there seems to be precious little of that. Could it be that they are simply more interested in connecting with people than they are in surfing the web, at least while out in public? Good form!
Thanks for checking in. I will be back!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Toilet Humor - But, It Is Not What You Think!
In the Toronto airport last week, on our way to Australia (crazy route, but you have to take those sometimes with frequent flyer miles), I went into the men’s restroom and saw a little boy moving around in front of a toilet and making it flush. “Dad – is it magic!?!” “Yes, son.” “Dad – they’re all magic!”
How could you not smile? I LOVED it! I also thought about my father, who probably thought the same thing 10 or so days ago when he entered heaven – “Is this place for real?” But, he knew that it was, and he knew he was there because of Jesus, not because of twenty plus years of teaching Sunday School or being a church member or being baptized, but because he repented of his sin and placed his trust in Jesus, who died for his sin and took God’s punishment for sin that was directed toward Billy Talley. Jesus got in the way of God’s wrath – Praise the Lord!
We have been enjoying a blessed few days in Sydney with Alison’s mom – and we have been blessedly out of touch! We have limited access to Internet and email, though we may have a little more access the next few days when we are visiting friends in Melbourne. I did not go that far South last year, so I am looking forward to being with Alison’s friends, the Raither, in Melbourne, though I am not looking forward to the 4:30AM to get back to the airport while jet-lag is still a factor. If you think that three-four days in is a little long to be struggling with jet-lag, come to this enchanted land they call OZ sometime – it is well worth it, but it ain’t an easy trip!
I hope to write from Melbourne. It will be a little cooler than the 50’s we have been experiencing here with brilliant sunshine. Jealous? You should be, even though I freeze here when I am inside! Aussies are quite committed to saving energy, and they do so with heat! Our ways are just as different to them, I am certain, so for my Aussie friends reading this, please know that your way is more than OK. It’s just cold! You are, without doubt, though, some of the warmest people I have met! So glad that most of our time here is still ahead of us.
How could you not smile? I LOVED it! I also thought about my father, who probably thought the same thing 10 or so days ago when he entered heaven – “Is this place for real?” But, he knew that it was, and he knew he was there because of Jesus, not because of twenty plus years of teaching Sunday School or being a church member or being baptized, but because he repented of his sin and placed his trust in Jesus, who died for his sin and took God’s punishment for sin that was directed toward Billy Talley. Jesus got in the way of God’s wrath – Praise the Lord!
We have been enjoying a blessed few days in Sydney with Alison’s mom – and we have been blessedly out of touch! We have limited access to Internet and email, though we may have a little more access the next few days when we are visiting friends in Melbourne. I did not go that far South last year, so I am looking forward to being with Alison’s friends, the Raither, in Melbourne, though I am not looking forward to the 4:30AM to get back to the airport while jet-lag is still a factor. If you think that three-four days in is a little long to be struggling with jet-lag, come to this enchanted land they call OZ sometime – it is well worth it, but it ain’t an easy trip!
I hope to write from Melbourne. It will be a little cooler than the 50’s we have been experiencing here with brilliant sunshine. Jealous? You should be, even though I freeze here when I am inside! Aussies are quite committed to saving energy, and they do so with heat! Our ways are just as different to them, I am certain, so for my Aussie friends reading this, please know that your way is more than OK. It’s just cold! You are, without doubt, though, some of the warmest people I have met! So glad that most of our time here is still ahead of us.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
In Memory - Billy Talley
I am sitting in the Toronto airport, waiting for a flight to Vancouver and then on to Sydney, Australia. We are going to visit Alison's mum and other family. Like last year, I plan to chronicle our journey in this space.
We almost didn't make this trip. My father, Billy Talley, passed from death to life - into the presence of Jesus - last Saturday, July 2. We buried him yesterday. This post is dedicated to his memory with the words that I shared during my portion of leading the service.
We almost didn't make this trip. My father, Billy Talley, passed from death to life - into the presence of Jesus - last Saturday, July 2. We buried him yesterday. This post is dedicated to his memory with the words that I shared during my portion of leading the service.
Funeral Service for Billy Talley
July 5, 2011
FUN! I suppose that is the word I would first associate with my father. I imagine most of you who knew my dad beyond just the most surface level would add an n-y to that word and think of my dad as FUNNY! When I grew up with my dad, life was just plain old fun.
They say that we tend to relate to God in the same ways we have come to know our fathers. If your father was stern and demanding, then you have to work hard to see God as loving and gentle. If your father was permissive and/or absent, you may struggle to grasp God’s holiness and transcendence. You may not be surprised to know that I see the Father holy and transcendent, yet with a sense of humor who sees the irony in life and the corners of His mouth turn slightly upward.
Understanding God in relation to our fathers is natural. We are, after all, made in the image of God. Since God is Spirit, we know that being made in His image does not refer to the physical, even though God appeared in the flesh in Jesus. So, what does being made in God’s image mean? Most would say that it is our ability to reason that separates us from animals, so to be able to think and reason is the primary way we exhibit the image of God. One theologian has said that it is man’s imagination that is indicated, for when we are creating, we are most like God. That explanation resonates with me.
My dad had quite an imagination. He was quick-witted and almost always had a funny comment about the circumstance of the moment. I would like to think that I received a measure of my dad’s wit, but what made him exceptionally funny is that he didn’t care whether you thought he was funny or not. When I think of something clever, I want you to hear it! When he thought of something funny, he often spoke it softly, not really caring if anyone else heard or not – or, at least he seemed not to care – and that is funny. Nan and Sabra and I have laughed more than we have deserved to laugh, I suppose, because of his influence in our lives.
My dad was incredibly blessed with the two wives that the Lord graciously gave to him. Like father, like son. I love you, Alison. I will say more about Patricia, whom most of you know as Pat, in a few moments, but let me say how much joy and laughter he brought to their lives! When I was called to care for my dear, dying wife over four years ago, I had the perfect role model. No one could have cared better for my mom than my dad did in her last many years of life, suffering with emphysema. He rolled her, I imagine, over every square inch of Raleigh in her wheel chair. Sometimes he put her life in danger because of the ways he would make her laugh when she was desperately short of breath. I laugh when Patricia tells me about the way that he courted her, showing up every morning to greet her on her way to school, calling her on the phone, disguising his voice with various accents from around the world, and singing to her as the crooner that he was. Billy Talley was a funny – and, a fun – man.
But, not all of you would respond the same way if I asked you to describe my dad. When you have spoken to me over these last five years, no doubt, most of you have said that he always made you smile – always! But, there have been just as many comments about my father’s love for Jesus, his love for children and his love for teaching them, his heart-felt prayers, and his godly character. It is, in fact, his relationship with Jesus as his Savior that has sustained him, and us, over these past five years.
In many ways, my father died five years ago when he began to slide rapidly and inexorably into the living hell of Lewey Body Dementia. For all the fun that my dad had in the first 75 or so years of his life, these last five years have been anything but fun. Many of you have had similar experiences with your loved ones. I don’t know what he would have done without Patricia’s tender loving care that went so far beyond what would have been expected, even of a devoted spouse. Our family knew that God had blessed us with a beautiful addition even before Dad and Patricia said “I do.” We are so grateful God brought you into our lives, Patricia – we love you!
Just think of how difficult these years have been for Patricia. Dementia was, for Billy, a horrible disease that caused him to act in ways that were horrifyingly embarrassing to him in the few lucid moments early in his disease. If you had seen him this past Friday, repeatedly gasping for breath with terror in his eyes, you would understand why it is such a relief for us that he is with Jesus, today. That doesn’t mean we are not sad, though. Quite a few tears have flowed along with the laughter. But, as Scripture says, we do not grieve in the same way as those who have no hope. We recognize that our parting is only temporary. Consider these words from John 14:1-6, spoken by Jesus just before He was to part, temporarily, from His disciples:
1 "Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.
2 In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?
3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.
4 And you know the way to where I am going."
5 Thomas said to him, "Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?"
6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
They say that we tend to relate to God in the same ways we have come to know our fathers. If your father was stern and demanding, then you have to work hard to see God as loving and gentle. If your father was permissive and/or absent, you may struggle to grasp God’s holiness and transcendence. You may not be surprised to know that I see the Father holy and transcendent, yet with a sense of humor who sees the irony in life and the corners of His mouth turn slightly upward.
Understanding God in relation to our fathers is natural. We are, after all, made in the image of God. Since God is Spirit, we know that being made in His image does not refer to the physical, even though God appeared in the flesh in Jesus. So, what does being made in God’s image mean? Most would say that it is our ability to reason that separates us from animals, so to be able to think and reason is the primary way we exhibit the image of God. One theologian has said that it is man’s imagination that is indicated, for when we are creating, we are most like God. That explanation resonates with me.
My dad had quite an imagination. He was quick-witted and almost always had a funny comment about the circumstance of the moment. I would like to think that I received a measure of my dad’s wit, but what made him exceptionally funny is that he didn’t care whether you thought he was funny or not. When I think of something clever, I want you to hear it! When he thought of something funny, he often spoke it softly, not really caring if anyone else heard or not – or, at least he seemed not to care – and that is funny. Nan and Sabra and I have laughed more than we have deserved to laugh, I suppose, because of his influence in our lives.
My dad was incredibly blessed with the two wives that the Lord graciously gave to him. Like father, like son. I love you, Alison. I will say more about Patricia, whom most of you know as Pat, in a few moments, but let me say how much joy and laughter he brought to their lives! When I was called to care for my dear, dying wife over four years ago, I had the perfect role model. No one could have cared better for my mom than my dad did in her last many years of life, suffering with emphysema. He rolled her, I imagine, over every square inch of Raleigh in her wheel chair. Sometimes he put her life in danger because of the ways he would make her laugh when she was desperately short of breath. I laugh when Patricia tells me about the way that he courted her, showing up every morning to greet her on her way to school, calling her on the phone, disguising his voice with various accents from around the world, and singing to her as the crooner that he was. Billy Talley was a funny – and, a fun – man.
But, not all of you would respond the same way if I asked you to describe my dad. When you have spoken to me over these last five years, no doubt, most of you have said that he always made you smile – always! But, there have been just as many comments about my father’s love for Jesus, his love for children and his love for teaching them, his heart-felt prayers, and his godly character. It is, in fact, his relationship with Jesus as his Savior that has sustained him, and us, over these past five years.
In many ways, my father died five years ago when he began to slide rapidly and inexorably into the living hell of Lewey Body Dementia. For all the fun that my dad had in the first 75 or so years of his life, these last five years have been anything but fun. Many of you have had similar experiences with your loved ones. I don’t know what he would have done without Patricia’s tender loving care that went so far beyond what would have been expected, even of a devoted spouse. Our family knew that God had blessed us with a beautiful addition even before Dad and Patricia said “I do.” We are so grateful God brought you into our lives, Patricia – we love you!
Just think of how difficult these years have been for Patricia. Dementia was, for Billy, a horrible disease that caused him to act in ways that were horrifyingly embarrassing to him in the few lucid moments early in his disease. If you had seen him this past Friday, repeatedly gasping for breath with terror in his eyes, you would understand why it is such a relief for us that he is with Jesus, today. That doesn’t mean we are not sad, though. Quite a few tears have flowed along with the laughter. But, as Scripture says, we do not grieve in the same way as those who have no hope. We recognize that our parting is only temporary. Consider these words from John 14:1-6, spoken by Jesus just before He was to part, temporarily, from His disciples:
1 "Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.
2 In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?
3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.
4 And you know the way to where I am going."
5 Thomas said to him, "Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?"
6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
The night before He was crucified, Jesus told His disciples that He was going away. They were shocked, because they had thought that He was going to establish the kingdom of God on earth, but now He told them, in essence, that He was going to heaven and that they were to be at peace about it! And, He told them, He would be busy preparing a room for each of them in His Father’s house. He concluded by saying, “You know the way to where I am going.”
Thomas said, “Uh, uh – we don’t have any idea where You are going, so how can we possibly know the way there?” Jesus responded with some of the most important words any of us will ever, ever hear: “I am the way – and the truth – and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”
Wow! Jesus was either incredibly arrogant – or, He was God. I don’t know about you, but I am going with the latter. Jesus was God! He had to be in order to accomplish our salvation because our sin had separated us from God. My dad suffered as he did because of sin. Not any particular sin of his, but because of Adam’s sin, which we have all inherited – every one of us. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the garden, they sinned, and thus were separated from God, and there was NOTHING they could do about that separation. There was no way back to God. But, God covered their nakedness, which represented their desperate condition, and He did so with animal skin. Blood was required in order for their sin to be covered.
But, as the book of Hebrews tells us, it was impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sin, no matter how many sacrifices were made in the Jewish Tabernacle and Temple in OT days. Jesus, though, being the perfect, spotless Lamb of God, went to the cross to absorb the wrath of God against sinners. Since we are all sinners, God’s righteous, judicial wrath is aimed squarely at us and unless someone stands in the way and absorbs God’s wrath, we will experience it one day. But, God's love made a way!
This may be hard for you to accept, but all the terrible things in this world, including these last five years of my dad’s life, are just a little taste of God’s wrath being revealed against sin, as are tsunamis and wars, and they may have NOTHING to do with the people who are experiencing tragedy. Until Jesus returns to rule on a new earth, which will really be heaven, every one of us will suffer because of sin. But, as Jesus promised His disciples, if we are related to God the Father through Jesus, we will experience perfect peace and joy throughout eternity!
My dad’s days are now full of joy because so many years ago he repented of his sin and trusted Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross as payment for his sin. My father’s hope of heaven was Jesus, not twenty years of teaching Sunday School, or baptism, or church membership, or comforting the grieving, or quiet acts of service and giving about which most never knew. He is OK today because of Jesus! Patricia pictured him clicking his heels when he got to heaven. What a beautiful picture – Billy Talley made whole and perfect because of Jesus! I don’t doubt that the beautiful parts of our personality are retained in heaven. Clicking his heels, indeed!
As I close, let me share how my dad passed from death to life, into the presence of Jesus. The staff at Senter’s Assisted Living Center was wonderful to my dad. This past Saturday afternoon, Patricia asked Gwen Morrison to sing for Billy. She was delayed because she had to make her rounds, but she arrived just before 3:30. In a beautiful, soulful voice, Gwen sang the first verse of Amazing Grace. As she sang the last note and turned to go, my dad breathed his last, clicked his heels, and fell into the arms of Jesus! Oh, I do hope that you will put your faith in what Jesus did for you so that you may have the same hope when your time comes, as everyone of us knows our time surely will come.
I cannot prove this in Scripture, but I have all ideas that there were a host of people waiting for Billy, including my late wife, Linda, and my mother. Sabra had a picture of how she thought it was in heaven on Saturday. In the last year of my mother’s life, Nan, Sabra, and I all lived away from Fuquay. When we would come for a few days, my mother could hardly stand the wait. She eagerly anticipated our arrival, so much so that when our car would roll down the driveway, she would tap her feet and say, “They’re here they’re here!” In Sabra’s mind – and, how can we argue – she was tapping her feet on Saturday and saying, “He’s here, he’s here!” To God be the glory!
Thomas said, “Uh, uh – we don’t have any idea where You are going, so how can we possibly know the way there?” Jesus responded with some of the most important words any of us will ever, ever hear: “I am the way – and the truth – and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”
Wow! Jesus was either incredibly arrogant – or, He was God. I don’t know about you, but I am going with the latter. Jesus was God! He had to be in order to accomplish our salvation because our sin had separated us from God. My dad suffered as he did because of sin. Not any particular sin of his, but because of Adam’s sin, which we have all inherited – every one of us. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the garden, they sinned, and thus were separated from God, and there was NOTHING they could do about that separation. There was no way back to God. But, God covered their nakedness, which represented their desperate condition, and He did so with animal skin. Blood was required in order for their sin to be covered.
But, as the book of Hebrews tells us, it was impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sin, no matter how many sacrifices were made in the Jewish Tabernacle and Temple in OT days. Jesus, though, being the perfect, spotless Lamb of God, went to the cross to absorb the wrath of God against sinners. Since we are all sinners, God’s righteous, judicial wrath is aimed squarely at us and unless someone stands in the way and absorbs God’s wrath, we will experience it one day. But, God's love made a way!
This may be hard for you to accept, but all the terrible things in this world, including these last five years of my dad’s life, are just a little taste of God’s wrath being revealed against sin, as are tsunamis and wars, and they may have NOTHING to do with the people who are experiencing tragedy. Until Jesus returns to rule on a new earth, which will really be heaven, every one of us will suffer because of sin. But, as Jesus promised His disciples, if we are related to God the Father through Jesus, we will experience perfect peace and joy throughout eternity!
My dad’s days are now full of joy because so many years ago he repented of his sin and trusted Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross as payment for his sin. My father’s hope of heaven was Jesus, not twenty years of teaching Sunday School, or baptism, or church membership, or comforting the grieving, or quiet acts of service and giving about which most never knew. He is OK today because of Jesus! Patricia pictured him clicking his heels when he got to heaven. What a beautiful picture – Billy Talley made whole and perfect because of Jesus! I don’t doubt that the beautiful parts of our personality are retained in heaven. Clicking his heels, indeed!
As I close, let me share how my dad passed from death to life, into the presence of Jesus. The staff at Senter’s Assisted Living Center was wonderful to my dad. This past Saturday afternoon, Patricia asked Gwen Morrison to sing for Billy. She was delayed because she had to make her rounds, but she arrived just before 3:30. In a beautiful, soulful voice, Gwen sang the first verse of Amazing Grace. As she sang the last note and turned to go, my dad breathed his last, clicked his heels, and fell into the arms of Jesus! Oh, I do hope that you will put your faith in what Jesus did for you so that you may have the same hope when your time comes, as everyone of us knows our time surely will come.
I cannot prove this in Scripture, but I have all ideas that there were a host of people waiting for Billy, including my late wife, Linda, and my mother. Sabra had a picture of how she thought it was in heaven on Saturday. In the last year of my mother’s life, Nan, Sabra, and I all lived away from Fuquay. When we would come for a few days, my mother could hardly stand the wait. She eagerly anticipated our arrival, so much so that when our car would roll down the driveway, she would tap her feet and say, “They’re here they’re here!” In Sabra’s mind – and, how can we argue – she was tapping her feet on Saturday and saying, “He’s here, he’s here!” To God be the glory!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Remembering Mom - Autumn, for the Kids
Remembering Mom
It’s that time of year again when my thoughts of Mom have been pressing and heavy. I think about Mom many times every single day, but these first three months of the year are thick with more difficult memories from her sickness, ultimately culminating to March 3rd, 2008 when she, as Dad said in his last post, passed from death to life. I really wanted to do something to honor Mom’s memory this year so I asked Dad awhile ago if I could post something on her blog. And now that it’s time to post, I have serious writer’s block.
I don’t have a lot of theology or wisdom to impart, but I just wanted to take some time and intentionally remember Mom. The idea came to me on her birthday last month when I was reading some Facebook comments. Our dear family friend, Sherri Russell, posted a comment on Aunt Terri’s page simply saying, “I love her and miss her too.” It reminded me again how many countless people out there, from so many places of our lives, love and miss Mom. What a tremendous impact she made on so many lives in her short 53 years on Earth. We were reminded of that in droves when she was sick. The meals, visits, cards, housecleaning, yard work, uplifting videos, music, scrapbooks and gifts poured in nonstop for over a year. It was an amazing testimony of the body of Christ in motion. Can I say THANK YOU again on behalf of the whole family, including Mom? We were all absolutely overwhelmed by your love and generosity.
I really miss Mom’s smiling, beautiful face. She loved Jesus with all her heart and it radiated through her. I love to listen to old hymns now because they remind me of Mom’s sweet voice singing harmonies in the pew beside us at Fellowship Baptist. I think of her standing there with her strong voice, lovingly shepherding her little flock of Liz, Michael and me, making sure we were growing up in God’s Word. She was a beautiful example of Deuteronomy 6: 6-8, faithfully growing in love and service to the Lord and teaching those values to her children.
One of Mom’s favorite verses that she shared with me was from Isaiah 30:15, “…In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength…” Mom really exuded these qualities of quietness and confidence. Liz reminded me one time that she almost always had a smile on her face – both when she was healthy and sick. She had a genuine little laugh that would come out in conversations and I miss that laugh. She was shy and insecure but I’m so proud of her for boldly stepping out and serving and counseling so many. Maybe that’s why she liked that verse…she was quiet, but she found her confidence in Christ.
She was a great Mom and I appreciate so many things about her. I love that she modeled the importance of an education by going back to college and graduating in her thirties. She gave us a love for reading, she taught us the value of true nutrition long before it was popular, and she gave us a lot of freedom in letting us run wild all over TVR property.
Mom’s absence from this earth is really hard for me in two ways. One, because I was just developing a true “friendship” with her as an adult. We had finally moved past those difficult teenage years, accepted each other as individuals and settled into a nice groove. I’m sad that we weren’t able to further develop that relationship. The other really tough thing is really missing her guidance and support now that I am a mom to a sweet and sassy 19-month old who is brimming with life and energy and is just so lovable! Mom loved, loved, loved her grandchildren Laurel, Judge and Willow. And now three years later she has three more in Alia, Audrey, and little Miles on the way. It’s sad for me to know that the kids are missing the love of their Nina in this lifetime. I know she would give really great advice on a lot of the questions that I have. She was very wise, well-read and imparted her knowledge is such a gentle way.
I miss Mom every single day. Walking through the difficult year of her sickness and then seeing her die changed me in so many ways. I am a stronger, less fearful, more patient and loving person after experiencing the intensity of caregiving. I always feared sickness…and then she got sick…and died…the very worst thing I could imagine! But you know what? It’s okay. I’m still trying to accept that. It’s okay. It’s more than okay. She finished her race (Hebrews 12:1). The thing that’s tough is that I am still running mine and still trying to come to terms with the fact that more sickness and more death will come; it is guaranteed. I’ll admit that, along with the fear I’ve cast to the side, sometimes it feels like I’ve just shouldered different fears of losing someone else close to me, or myself dying while my daughter is still young.
These are just aftereffects of the grief, I suppose, but I am dealing with them. In fact, even as I write this, I’ve thought about Hebrews 12 that I just referenced. It gives a really good answer for this fear that still paralyzes me from time to time. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” I guess it’s full circle back to what I said at the beginning – that Mom absolutely loved Jesus. She had such a firm foundation in His Word and His love, that she was not shaken when she was given a diagnosis of an aggressive brain tumor. Like any human, she had her moments of fear and weakness. But she kept circling back to Jesus. That is awesome and I’m so proud of her and the example she set.
I think I’ve officially written more than what is considered acceptable for a ‘blog,’ but I did want to mention one more thing before I close this out. While it has been hard to be a young mom and not have my mom around, God really does give more grace. I want to give a big hug to my amazing husband, Brian who shepherds our family with grace, love and a lot of fun; and to so many women who have stepped in to fill a role: my dear friend and mother-in-law, Debbie; my new stepmom, Alison (Who, by the way, is just as incredible as Dad describes in his posts. What a tremendous blessing she and her kids, Jonathan and Sarala, are to our family!); my beautiful sisters, Liz and Laura; my steadfast grandmas, Virginia and Patricia; my godly aunts and cousins, and so many other amazing women in my life who have loved me through some really tough times. I love you all so much.
And by the way, since I’ve poached this space, I want to say that all of these godly characteristics of Mom are equally true of our Dad. We are so incredibly blessed to have grown up in a household that had a firm foundation in God’s Word. Thank you, Dad, for being a rock as we walked through this darkest valley; for always pointing us to Jesus and for being equal parts leader, mentor and friend to us now!
Thanks for taking the time to visit and hear where I am today (every day is different) after three years of missing Mom on this earth. God bless you all as you also reflect on your own special memories of her on this day!
It’s that time of year again when my thoughts of Mom have been pressing and heavy. I think about Mom many times every single day, but these first three months of the year are thick with more difficult memories from her sickness, ultimately culminating to March 3rd, 2008 when she, as Dad said in his last post, passed from death to life. I really wanted to do something to honor Mom’s memory this year so I asked Dad awhile ago if I could post something on her blog. And now that it’s time to post, I have serious writer’s block.
I don’t have a lot of theology or wisdom to impart, but I just wanted to take some time and intentionally remember Mom. The idea came to me on her birthday last month when I was reading some Facebook comments. Our dear family friend, Sherri Russell, posted a comment on Aunt Terri’s page simply saying, “I love her and miss her too.” It reminded me again how many countless people out there, from so many places of our lives, love and miss Mom. What a tremendous impact she made on so many lives in her short 53 years on Earth. We were reminded of that in droves when she was sick. The meals, visits, cards, housecleaning, yard work, uplifting videos, music, scrapbooks and gifts poured in nonstop for over a year. It was an amazing testimony of the body of Christ in motion. Can I say THANK YOU again on behalf of the whole family, including Mom? We were all absolutely overwhelmed by your love and generosity.
I really miss Mom’s smiling, beautiful face. She loved Jesus with all her heart and it radiated through her. I love to listen to old hymns now because they remind me of Mom’s sweet voice singing harmonies in the pew beside us at Fellowship Baptist. I think of her standing there with her strong voice, lovingly shepherding her little flock of Liz, Michael and me, making sure we were growing up in God’s Word. She was a beautiful example of Deuteronomy 6: 6-8, faithfully growing in love and service to the Lord and teaching those values to her children.
One of Mom’s favorite verses that she shared with me was from Isaiah 30:15, “…In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength…” Mom really exuded these qualities of quietness and confidence. Liz reminded me one time that she almost always had a smile on her face – both when she was healthy and sick. She had a genuine little laugh that would come out in conversations and I miss that laugh. She was shy and insecure but I’m so proud of her for boldly stepping out and serving and counseling so many. Maybe that’s why she liked that verse…she was quiet, but she found her confidence in Christ.
She was a great Mom and I appreciate so many things about her. I love that she modeled the importance of an education by going back to college and graduating in her thirties. She gave us a love for reading, she taught us the value of true nutrition long before it was popular, and she gave us a lot of freedom in letting us run wild all over TVR property.
Mom’s absence from this earth is really hard for me in two ways. One, because I was just developing a true “friendship” with her as an adult. We had finally moved past those difficult teenage years, accepted each other as individuals and settled into a nice groove. I’m sad that we weren’t able to further develop that relationship. The other really tough thing is really missing her guidance and support now that I am a mom to a sweet and sassy 19-month old who is brimming with life and energy and is just so lovable! Mom loved, loved, loved her grandchildren Laurel, Judge and Willow. And now three years later she has three more in Alia, Audrey, and little Miles on the way. It’s sad for me to know that the kids are missing the love of their Nina in this lifetime. I know she would give really great advice on a lot of the questions that I have. She was very wise, well-read and imparted her knowledge is such a gentle way.
I miss Mom every single day. Walking through the difficult year of her sickness and then seeing her die changed me in so many ways. I am a stronger, less fearful, more patient and loving person after experiencing the intensity of caregiving. I always feared sickness…and then she got sick…and died…the very worst thing I could imagine! But you know what? It’s okay. I’m still trying to accept that. It’s okay. It’s more than okay. She finished her race (Hebrews 12:1). The thing that’s tough is that I am still running mine and still trying to come to terms with the fact that more sickness and more death will come; it is guaranteed. I’ll admit that, along with the fear I’ve cast to the side, sometimes it feels like I’ve just shouldered different fears of losing someone else close to me, or myself dying while my daughter is still young.
These are just aftereffects of the grief, I suppose, but I am dealing with them. In fact, even as I write this, I’ve thought about Hebrews 12 that I just referenced. It gives a really good answer for this fear that still paralyzes me from time to time. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” I guess it’s full circle back to what I said at the beginning – that Mom absolutely loved Jesus. She had such a firm foundation in His Word and His love, that she was not shaken when she was given a diagnosis of an aggressive brain tumor. Like any human, she had her moments of fear and weakness. But she kept circling back to Jesus. That is awesome and I’m so proud of her and the example she set.
I think I’ve officially written more than what is considered acceptable for a ‘blog,’ but I did want to mention one more thing before I close this out. While it has been hard to be a young mom and not have my mom around, God really does give more grace. I want to give a big hug to my amazing husband, Brian who shepherds our family with grace, love and a lot of fun; and to so many women who have stepped in to fill a role: my dear friend and mother-in-law, Debbie; my new stepmom, Alison (Who, by the way, is just as incredible as Dad describes in his posts. What a tremendous blessing she and her kids, Jonathan and Sarala, are to our family!); my beautiful sisters, Liz and Laura; my steadfast grandmas, Virginia and Patricia; my godly aunts and cousins, and so many other amazing women in my life who have loved me through some really tough times. I love you all so much.
And by the way, since I’ve poached this space, I want to say that all of these godly characteristics of Mom are equally true of our Dad. We are so incredibly blessed to have grown up in a household that had a firm foundation in God’s Word. Thank you, Dad, for being a rock as we walked through this darkest valley; for always pointing us to Jesus and for being equal parts leader, mentor and friend to us now!
Thanks for taking the time to visit and hear where I am today (every day is different) after three years of missing Mom on this earth. God bless you all as you also reflect on your own special memories of her on this day!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Blessings, Past and Present
Blessings, Past and Present
It has been quite some time since I last wrote for this space, but I wanted to alert those who still check in from time to time that one or more of my children may be reflecting in this spot next Thursday, March 3, the third anniversary of the passing from death to life of their mother and my wife of 31 plus years, dear sweet Linda Faile Talley.
I cannot tell you how many times I have been told that I must be one of the most fortunate men alive to have been blessed first, with Linda, and now, with Alison! Like father, like son, I suppose – my dad has been equally blessed with my mother, Bobbie Griffin Talley, and with his current wife, Patricia Keith Talley. My father, who lives with dementia, is blessed, along with our entire family, by the most incredibly caring wife you could imagine. One of the last pieces of his mind to slip was his recognition of the beautiful blessing that Patricia is to him. Even now, he longs to see her every day as the final chapters of his life play out in a rest home. He is not disappointed, for Patricia is well known to all at Senter’s Rest Home, located about a mile from her home.
This life is hard, is it not? There are so many ways of looking at difficult circumstances, such as asking “Why me?” or “Why not me?” Those are questions that my dear friends, David and Pam Carson ask as David lives the last days of his life (barring a miracle from our God, Who is, indeed, capable, but may not heal, in His sovereign will) with the same tumor – Glioblastoma Multiforme – that Linda had. Another of my close friends, Mark Poindexter, had surgery last week to remove a brain tumor. We know that it is malignant, but we do not know the grade, yet. Please pray for Mark and Kim, and their daughters, Lauren (with husband, James Peavy) and Sarah. Oh, we do hope and pray that Mark’s tumor is more manageable!
So, why would I speak of blessings in the title? Well, because alongside of God’s sovereignty, in equal measure, is His goodness! Evidences of His grace and mercy are everywhere, even in crises, but sometimes his goodness shouts to those who are listening! Do you think David Carson and Mark Poindexter are aware of His goodness in the beautiful, loving families that God has given them? Absolutely! Am I aware of my own blessings that far, far exceed anything I remotely deserve in Linda and Alison? Without question! I told Alison recently that in the center of many painful realities of this existence, my “lows” are considerably higher than they were a few years ago, and much higher on the chart than they would be without her. She blesses me with 100% support and encouragement at the same level that Linda did. Amazing! Is my primary hope in Jesus? Of course! And He sustained me as I endured loneliness at a level that I did not think possible because of the loss of life and love from one of God’s most incredible human beings of our time, and wouldn’t you know it, He brought blessing back to me in an equally beautiful and valuable package, though of a different nature (personality, past experiences, etc.) altogether.
I had not intended to write nearly this much – I had only intended to alert you to a coming post on Thursday – but since I am on a roll . . . When you marry for the second time, it can be quite a delicate proposition to speak of your previous spouse. Not so in our house! We both recognize and believe with all of our hearts that God is sovereign and God is good. Alison has never once shown the slightest hint of discomfort (jealousy is not even on the radar in the slightest form) when I speak of Linda. In fact, Alison has often asked my children and me about Linda. You may think it odd, but we went to Rome, Georgia this past Thanksgiving to be with Linda’s parents and all of her siblings and their families. What an awesome time it was for all of us! Was it awkward? No! Linda’s family is one of the most incredible, caring group of men, women, and children you will ever meet, and they welcomed Alison graciously into “the family.” Was it difficult? Certainly! It was painful for all of us to remember Linda so poignantly in that setting.
As we drove away from Rome, Alison was unusually quiet (that is not a jab – I talk at least as much as she does!). After a bit, I noticed that she was crying. I asked why, of course, and she said that she had always known that the cost had been high for the two of us to be together, but she felt the emotions of the entire family together at a level she had not experienced to that point. Blessings, past and present!
Well, I could go on, but I had better stop. If you have read this far, I would encourage you to get a life! Just kidding! Thank you!!! and, PLEASE return on Thursday to read the children’s (one may speak for all) words of praise and tribute to the beautiful, lovely lady who pointed others to Jesus, Linda Faile Talley.
It has been quite some time since I last wrote for this space, but I wanted to alert those who still check in from time to time that one or more of my children may be reflecting in this spot next Thursday, March 3, the third anniversary of the passing from death to life of their mother and my wife of 31 plus years, dear sweet Linda Faile Talley.
I cannot tell you how many times I have been told that I must be one of the most fortunate men alive to have been blessed first, with Linda, and now, with Alison! Like father, like son, I suppose – my dad has been equally blessed with my mother, Bobbie Griffin Talley, and with his current wife, Patricia Keith Talley. My father, who lives with dementia, is blessed, along with our entire family, by the most incredibly caring wife you could imagine. One of the last pieces of his mind to slip was his recognition of the beautiful blessing that Patricia is to him. Even now, he longs to see her every day as the final chapters of his life play out in a rest home. He is not disappointed, for Patricia is well known to all at Senter’s Rest Home, located about a mile from her home.
This life is hard, is it not? There are so many ways of looking at difficult circumstances, such as asking “Why me?” or “Why not me?” Those are questions that my dear friends, David and Pam Carson ask as David lives the last days of his life (barring a miracle from our God, Who is, indeed, capable, but may not heal, in His sovereign will) with the same tumor – Glioblastoma Multiforme – that Linda had. Another of my close friends, Mark Poindexter, had surgery last week to remove a brain tumor. We know that it is malignant, but we do not know the grade, yet. Please pray for Mark and Kim, and their daughters, Lauren (with husband, James Peavy) and Sarah. Oh, we do hope and pray that Mark’s tumor is more manageable!
So, why would I speak of blessings in the title? Well, because alongside of God’s sovereignty, in equal measure, is His goodness! Evidences of His grace and mercy are everywhere, even in crises, but sometimes his goodness shouts to those who are listening! Do you think David Carson and Mark Poindexter are aware of His goodness in the beautiful, loving families that God has given them? Absolutely! Am I aware of my own blessings that far, far exceed anything I remotely deserve in Linda and Alison? Without question! I told Alison recently that in the center of many painful realities of this existence, my “lows” are considerably higher than they were a few years ago, and much higher on the chart than they would be without her. She blesses me with 100% support and encouragement at the same level that Linda did. Amazing! Is my primary hope in Jesus? Of course! And He sustained me as I endured loneliness at a level that I did not think possible because of the loss of life and love from one of God’s most incredible human beings of our time, and wouldn’t you know it, He brought blessing back to me in an equally beautiful and valuable package, though of a different nature (personality, past experiences, etc.) altogether.
I had not intended to write nearly this much – I had only intended to alert you to a coming post on Thursday – but since I am on a roll . . . When you marry for the second time, it can be quite a delicate proposition to speak of your previous spouse. Not so in our house! We both recognize and believe with all of our hearts that God is sovereign and God is good. Alison has never once shown the slightest hint of discomfort (jealousy is not even on the radar in the slightest form) when I speak of Linda. In fact, Alison has often asked my children and me about Linda. You may think it odd, but we went to Rome, Georgia this past Thanksgiving to be with Linda’s parents and all of her siblings and their families. What an awesome time it was for all of us! Was it awkward? No! Linda’s family is one of the most incredible, caring group of men, women, and children you will ever meet, and they welcomed Alison graciously into “the family.” Was it difficult? Certainly! It was painful for all of us to remember Linda so poignantly in that setting.
As we drove away from Rome, Alison was unusually quiet (that is not a jab – I talk at least as much as she does!). After a bit, I noticed that she was crying. I asked why, of course, and she said that she had always known that the cost had been high for the two of us to be together, but she felt the emotions of the entire family together at a level she had not experienced to that point. Blessings, past and present!
Well, I could go on, but I had better stop. If you have read this far, I would encourage you to get a life! Just kidding! Thank you!!! and, PLEASE return on Thursday to read the children’s (one may speak for all) words of praise and tribute to the beautiful, lovely lady who pointed others to Jesus, Linda Faile Talley.
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