Life is Hard - but God is Good!

Linda has completed her latest regimen of Temodar (chemo). It was difficult toward the end, but she got through it – thank you so much for praying with us! I have no doubt heaven responded (in God’s will, of course) to your requests for Linda to receive/endure the medicine.

It is always difficult to know how to write these notes. We want to stay as positive as possible, and there has been plenty of good news along the way . . . but, dealing with cancer has never been easy for anyone. One of the primary reasons I am encouraged about Linda’s future is that our Father in heaven has led so very many people to pray. Frankly, I am stunned by the number of people who tell me they check this site almost every day (some check it more than once a day) to see how Linda is doing. “Thank you” seems so inadequate, but it is all we have, so we try to say it often.

Since so many of you are praying, the last thing I want to do is to come across as discouraged. We are not anywhere close to defeated, and though discouragement knocks often at our door, the goodness of God that is displayed in so many ways (often through you) continually brings our focus back to Him, and so we rejoice in the midst of suffering (Romans 5:1-5).

It is time, though, to be all the way honest – we need you to walk this valley with us. Do not be alarmed! I am not about to say that things are way worse than we have reported. Every good word you have heard from us has been true, and we are quite excited that the tumor is shrinking (albeit, ever so slightly). The complications of the medications (necessitated by the tumor) have begun to take a heavier toll, and we want you to be aware of the extent of the challenges Linda is facing so that you can pray more specifically.

Prolonged use of steroids creates a number of problems – muscle wasting, increased appetite and weight (the weight gain seems to come even if you control your appetite) and compromised immune system, to name a few. Linda was initially taking up to 12 mg of decadron (dexamethasone – the generic – really) per day early in the process, and we have worked all the way down to 2 mg per day. We are currently on our second or third try to reduce that to 1.5 mg per day, and then keep on going down until we eliminate them altogether. We cannot reduce more than .5 mg every two weeks, because the adrenal glands need time to kick back so that steroids will not have to be reintroduced to Linda’s list of medicines.

The reason for the steroids in the first place is to keep the swelling in the brain down. Anytime there is a foreign object in the body, swelling is likely. We asked Linda’s doctor at Duke last week if it is possible for brain tumor patients to get off steroids. He said that some can and some cannot. He also said that it is easier to reduce steroids at the higher levels (say, from 12 mg to 8 mg) than it is at lower levels like we are trying. As I said, this is the 2nd or 3rd attempt at reducing the steroids from 2 mg to 1.5 mg per day. We started 11 days ago – and it does not seem to be working.

Linda has lost fine motor skills (she can barely move her left hand at all), she has much more difficulty transferring from the wheel chair to car, etc., she is more tired than before, and discouragement comes more easily and more often.

We would like to try more natural means for reducing swelling, such as salmon oil and other Omega 3’s, but they interact radically with the Coumadin, which must be taken because of the blood clot. Her blood has gone from thick to thin time and again these past few months. The lack of mobility (exacerbated by the reduction in steroids) makes it more difficult to deal with the blood clot and keep others away. She is scheduled for Physical Therapy on Thursday, but we are not sure she will be able to move enough to participate. One thing leads to another.

So, you can see where we are. Should the tumor continue to shrink (either through the Temodar or by more direct intervention by God – though He directs the Temodar, also!), the swelling will go down and Linda can get off the steroids that way, move more and allow her body to take care of the blood clot. But, that’s not how things are going, now.

These complications represent nowhere near a complete list, but they are the most disconcerting. We need direction from the Lord in the decision to continue to keep the steroid dosage down, or go back to 2 mg (which allows more mobility but increases risks in all the aforementioned areas) and make life a bit easier for the time being. Life seems so unstable right now. Thankfully, GOD NEVER CHANGES! He is rock-solid stable and as Linda has said time and again, nothing takes Him by surprise.

Since He is so powerful and invites us to make our requests known to Him, would you pray for Linda’s complete healing all over again? He has not chosen to heal in dramatic fashion to this point, but He has caused the tumor to reduce in size, which is a miracle in itself. Would you pray that God would direct us in our decisions should He not remove the tumor immediately and want us to continue in this valley for now? Our lives are in His hands – so are yours. We would all do well to rest there.

So, please pray as you feel led, but we would like to suggest this order:

1) Heal Linda completely – since we will have more specific requests, I want to say that I do not consider it a lack of faith to ask for the following requests should God decide not to answer this first one in the manner we are asking for Him to
2) For the swelling in the brain to stop so that we can reduce the steroids down to zero (and thus be able to quit antibiotics, etc) and Linda to regain mobility
3) For wisdom to know when to concede that the swelling is not going to stop without steroids and go back to 2 mg per day
4) For the Temodar to reduce the size of the tumor and thus eliminate the need for the steroids
5) For her blood levels to stabilize with the Coumadin and for Linda’s body to deal properly with the blood clot
6) For us to glorify God with our hearts and mouths, no matter what God’s decision is in this for us

Life is hard, no question, but GOD IS GOOD!