Challenges and Opportunities

These have not been the best days for Linda. When I last wrote (which was, shamefully, over a week ago!), Linda was struggling with a cough. She still is. The doctors think it is bronchitis, not pneumonia. We return to the doctor on Tuesday to see if her immune system is strong enough to begin another round of chemo on October 23.

If you have been keeping up with these posts, you know that we tried to reduce the steroids because of all the negative side effects that accompany this medicine used to control swelling in the brain (when a tumor is present, that is). The test was unsuccessful, to say the least. Linda went from 2 mg per day to 1.5 mg per day for nearly two weeks. When it was clear that Linda's adrenal glands were not kicking in to offset the reduced steroids, she resumed taking 2 mg per day. Less than a week later, it was necessary to go up to 2.5 mg per day.

A month ago, Linda could move her left hand and arm with a little bit of effort. She could use her thumb to touch all the other fingers on her left hand. Now, she can barely move the thumb on her left hand - barely. She has also struggled a great deal more with discouragement of late. I suspect (though this is certainly not a clinical diagnosis) that this discouragement is more physical - caused by the tumor - than emotional. With the lack of mobility, increased confusion (this is not critical by any means, but it is more pronounced than it was even a month ago), shortness of breath, significant difficulty swallowing (especially pills), blurring vision (we hope to see our friend, Dr. Bob Johnson, this week) and growing fatigue, AND the fact that she has hardly moved anywhere on her own for eight and a half months, these are tough days for Linda.

That means they are tough days for me, also - emotionally, that is. It is difficult to see my bride - who is so much more used to serving than to being served - struggle. We are one flesh, and though I would never dare to claim to fully understand what Linda is experiencing, there is no doubt that a part of me is suffering with her at a high level.

But, suffering brings opportunity, does it not? God has blessed me with some unusually insightful ministry friends. My good friend David Brown recently shared an insight from 1 Peter 5:6, 7: "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you." Dave pointed out that the Greek verb that is translated "Humble (yourselves)" is written in the passive voice. Thus, it could be translated, "Allow yourselves to be humbled." Dave further pointed out that humility comes in two forms in the book of 1 Peter - through relationships of submission and through trials.

OK, I think we qualify! This is a marvelous opportunity for us to allow ourselves to be humbled by God. I am currently reading an excellent book written by the late Ron Dunn called, "Will God Heal Me?" Dunn states that sickness comes from four sources: 1) God, 2) Satan (though he can only act as God allows), 3) lifestyle choices, and 4) being a human. Dunn further notes that Job never once attributed the difficulties that had befallen him to Satan - he knew that God is ultimately in charge. I am certain I will share more from this insightful book as I continue to read and digest a carefully considered theology of sickness and healing. When men like Warren Wiersbe, Calvin Miller, Adrian Rogers (deceased), and Steve Brown recommend a book about such a controversial subject (it is more controversial than I could have ever imagined!), you know it is worth reading.

So, God is calling Linda and me, along with all of our family and those who know and love Linda, to submit to God's design for humility in our lives. Does that mean we quit praying for God to heal her? HEAVENS NO! PLEASE continue to pray for healing, but PLEASE do not forget to pray that we will receive all that God has for us. We can only do so with a spirit of total and absolute trust, and with an eternal perspective. 1 Peter 5:6 is easier to receive when verse 7 is included in the mix - "casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you."

Even as I write this blog, Linda and I are enjoying the company of her godly and gracious parents, who are here from Rome, Georgia (nearly 500 miles away) for their 13th time to serve as caregivers. Linda is in much better spirits tonight than she has been in awhile. It could be that she is the beneficiary of many prayers from our church family today - I shared her need this morning in our second service. So, if you will join our church in praying for Linda's health AND that we will receive from God's hand all that He has for us so that we may in turn refresh those who find themselves behind us in the Valley of Baca (see the June 3 post). We love you!