Heaven is Better

Did the title of this post concern you a bit? Let me assure you from the beginning that the news about Linda is positive, on balance. Oh, she has many challenges that come with cancer, which I will list as prayer requests a little later, but let me begin by telling you about our trip to Duke last week.

Dr. Reardon at Duke last week confirmed that the tumor is stable. Sprague Cheshire, the PA who worked with us, agreed with Dr. Moore's (Linda's oncologist) assessment earlier that the tumor is actually smaller. Either way, we are greatly encouraged that Linda is with us and actually seems to be making progress in her battle with cancer.

Since we have received the good news, Linda and I (mostly at her initiation, not mine) have begun discussing our hope of heaven again. We discussed the next life rather extensively at first because we were told that her time on this earth would come to an end in three to five months. Now, almost eight months later . . . Praise the LORD!

Should that time come again when either of us are facing our mortality at the level Linda faced hers in February, we will once again speak much to one another of the blessings of heaven. When she seemed to be in a holding pattern in late spring and early to mid summer, it was difficult to talk about heaven because it seemed to do so was to concede the battle to the cancer, and that we were not willing to do. Now that the news seems better about the tumor, it is a bit easier to talk about things that need to be discussed involving end of life issues.

But, stop for a moment and try to gain perspective (he says to himself). First of all, heaven is better than this place. Do you believe it? Sure you do, but you sing the lyrics along with me, "Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die." A big part of the reason for this dichotomy of emotions is the drive to live that God put inside us. But, we only have so much to say about when we will transition from this life to eternity (if we know Christ as our Savior, that is). God has numbered our days - the beginning and the end are already determined and we don't know when our time in this life will be up. (If you knew Linda well before she was diagnosed with this tumor, you know that she was VERY nutritionally minded and careful with her diet.) So, even if you do not have a brain tumor, it would be a good thing to prepare for the day when you will see Jesus face to face!

Even though Linda's tumor is smaller, there are myriad issues that are disconcerting when we give ourselves to worry rather than to trust. Even when we are fully trusting the Lord in this trial, there are several issues that warrant attention and prayer. As has been the case for so long, we are grateful when you join us in bringing our concerns to our great God. So, here we go.

First, the steroids. Linda has continued to take 2 mg of dexamethazone (dekadron) per day up until Friday. At the beginning of the weekend, we reduced the amount to one and a half mg. You would not thing such a small reduction would affect Linda so much, but when you think about it, that is a 25% reduction in her dosage. Her adrenal glands have been sitting idly by while the steroids have done their work. It takes up to several days for them to get back in gear and do their job. So, while Linda waits for active adrenal glands, her mobility is compromised, fatigue creeps in, and she even struggles emotionally.

Why does she need steroids in the first place? To keep the swelling in the brain down, which comes as a result of the tumor. As you know, she has not moved that well since February anyway, so when she becomes less mobile than normal, the complications from swelling in the brain become more acute. With less mobility comes muscle atrophy and increased risk of blood clots, which are always dangerous.

So, is it worth it to try to get off the steroids? Oh, yes! In addition to significant weight gain and puffiness (especially in the face) that cause a fair amount of angst, the change in blood chemistry and damage to muscles create plenty of incentive to eliminate steroid use if at all possible. Dr. Reardon told us last week that there are some brain tumor patients who are able to eliminate steroid use while others are not able to do so. If I am not mistaken, this is the third time we have tried to reduce the steroid amount. Please pray that the third time will be the charm for Linda!

One of the ways we have attempted to facilitate steroid reduction is to introduce salmon oil (Omega 3's) into Linda's supplement regimen. The only problem is that the fish oils interact with the Coumadin (blood thinner) she must take in order to dissolve the clot (there is a better medical explanation, but you know what I mean). There are other drug interactions that create challenges, but that will be enough to inform your prayer life in this area. Oh, how we thank our Father for so many faithful prayer partners!

One of our biggest prayer concerns involves the Temodar (chemo therapy) that Linda will begin taking again later today (since it is after midnight). God is likely using the medicine to reduce the tumor, so we are glad for her to be able to take it. The last couple of times she has taken the Temodar, she is nauseated early in the five day regimen. That is part of the territory, and though some deal with much worse, we would appreciate your prayers for her in this crucial time. Also pray that she will not get sick as her immune system takes a hit!

Aren't you glad that our hope is not in this life? Now, we are doing everything we can to extend Linda's life just as we would do if it were me in her place, but we must keep our eyes on Jesus, knowing that we will ultimately stand before Him one day. And, I know you would agree, heaven is better than this place!